So, how does that song go anyway. You know the one I mean. The song from The Music Man which goes something like this, “There’s trouble here in River City, trouble with a capital T which rhymes with P which stands for Pool. Yes I tell ye we got trouble right in in River City.”  The little melody goes something like that anyway.  I was thinking about that song today as it relates to my wireless problems.

Well I got trouble too and it does not rhyme with Pool. Just in case you are wondering about the lyrics of the song, here is a link to Trouble in River City.

So here goes with a preview of the longer version.

People:
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in River City!
With a capital “T”
That rhymes with “P”
And that stands for Pool,
That stands for pool.
We’ve surely got trouble!
Right here in River City,
Right here!
got figure out a way
To keep the young ones moral after school!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble…

Those were the simple days, back then when all we had to worry about was whether or not the children’s morals would be corrupted by the Pool hall they passed by on their way home from school. Today’s troubles seem so much more complicated with gang violence in our streets, terrorism looming large on our future as an ever present threat. Hey wait a minute, this is not about any of this stuff. Lets get back to our subject, the subject of the Trouble, the Wireless Trouble in River City. Actually its not River City but the desk of the Extremist that has the trouble.

After working on my wireless network here for a couple of days, I finally got everything configured and the wireless network working. The funny thing is about these projects, the tinkering never stops. When I turned on my laptop for the first time I noticed that I had several open networks that I could connect to just for the asking. My neighbors wireless networks were not secure and any body with a WiFi could start downloading all kinds of stuff through their networks. Cool, but not for the neighbors. Needless to say, I did not want that kind of situation going on around here. To secure my wireless network was a top priority.

Here comes the trouble part. It always goes like that. You take a perfectly good working system and mess around with it trying to improve things and what happens? I did a little searching to find the best way to secure my wireless network and figured out how to really mess things up good. Research is like that, it really is.

An article by John McCormick in TechRepublic titled The latest on Wi-Fi dangers and standards, speaks about the dangers and possible solutions to these real problems of wireless security. John McCormick touts the standard of “The new Wi-Fi Protected Access (WPA)” claiming it “is also being pushed by Microsoft, Cisco, and members of the Wi-Fi Alliance.” This WPA thing is where I got into trouble. Oh, if you want the latest version you can download a WPA upgrade for Windows XP from Microsoft. I highly recommend it. Really, I do.

This is what happened, I locked up my entire system and could not log on to my router with the encryption enabled. After a couple of days a struggling with this problem, I deleted my connection and figured out how to reestablish a new one curtsey of IBM’s wizard. Isn’t that a marvelous thing. There is nothing bad about the WPA security system just the way I implemented it. I will try again after I down load the latest upgrade for XP. It should work after that.

Just to reinforce how wide spread the open WiFi problem is, a quote from the same article follows, “I decided to write this article after I spoke at the Summercon hacker convention in Pittsburgh recently. There were probably 30 open networks within a single square mile around the conference site, and other cities have similar WLAN-rich areas around universities and high-tech businesses. I saw people logging onto three and four wireless networks from PDAs right in the hotel lobby, and only one of the networks was owned by the hotel.

Everyone from the overt FBI agent to a former NSA staff member to the average hacker was logging onto wireless networks, and I bet even in that elite group, no more than half realized that merely by connecting to an open network they were potentially opening up their computers to anyone else on the same wireless network.”

“Even worse, only a few of those networks were intended for general public use. Most were private networks with so little security that anyone could log on, almost by accident.”

Now that is what I call progress. Free internet just for the asking.

With that, I will wish you happy Wireless Nights and for your listening pleasure I have included the entire monologue of “Trouble”. Enjoy.

Ya Got Trouble Lyrics

Harold:
Well, either you’re closing your eyes
To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City.
Why sure I’m a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I’m always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
Never take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From a three-reail billiard shot?
But just as I say,
It takes judgment, brains, and maturity to score
In a balkline game,
I say that any boob kin take
And shove a ball in a pocket.
And they call that sloth.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day–
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then beer from a bottle.
An’ the next thing ya know,
Your son is playin’ for money
In a pinch-back suit.
And list’nin to some big out-a-town Jasper
Hearin’ him tell about horse-race gamblin’.
Not a wholesome trottin’ race, no!
But a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey’boy
Sittin’ on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table.
Pockets that mark the diff’rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum,
With a capital “B,”
And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!
And all week long your River City
Youth’ll be frittern away,
I say your young men’ll be frittern!
Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
Get the ball in the pocket,
Never mind gittin’ Dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
Never mind pumpin’ any water
‘Til your parents are caught with the Cistern empty
On a Saturday night and that’s trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a’ trouble.
I’m thinkin’ of the kids in the knickerbockers,
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin’ in the pool
Hall window after school, look, folks!
Right here in River City.
Trouble with a capital “T”
And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I’m gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they’re loafin’ around that Hall?
They’re tryin’ out Bevo, tryin’ out cubebs,
Tryin’ out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Feends!
And braggin’ all about
How they’re gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
One fine night, they leave the pool hall,
Headin’ for the dance at the Arm’ry!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Rag-time, shameless music
That’ll grab your son and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instink!
Mass-staria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil’s playground!

People:
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in River City!
With a capital “T”
That rhymes with “P”
And that stands for Pool,
That stands for pool.
We’ve surely got trouble!
Right here in River City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones moral after school!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble…

Harold:
Mothers of River City!
Heed the warning before it’s too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt.
Billy’s Whiz Bang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like ‘swell?”
And ‘so’s your old man?”
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in River city!
With a capital “T”
And that rhymes with “P”
And that stands for Pool.
We’ve surely got trouble!
Right here in River City!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
Oh, we’ve got trouble.
We’re in terrible, terrible trouble.
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil’s tool!
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a “T”! Gotta rhyme it with “P”!
And that stands for Pool!!!